if walls could talk

New Year's Resolutions

Thu, 06 Jan 2011 16:24:00 -0800

honestly, i never do resolutions because i already know they never pan out. most fail within the first week or so anyway, riiight? :) but this year, i thought, why not give it a shot? i mean, what does it hurt to take 5 minutes out of my day to sit down and think of some genuine new year’s resolutions. if anything, at least, i’ll have some sort of game plan or visual understanding of what i want to accomplish maybe not just within a year but in my life. :) so here goes… haven’t done this in awhile so i hope my list isn’t too unrealistic. haha…

1. rebuild my relationship with Christ! i’m done with the phony, just for show, on a sunday, type of deal; i want the real, intimate, i know Him and He knows me type of relationship. i want to fight, proudly, alongside all my great friends who have been faithful year after year. i want Jesus and if only one thing from this list were to be “resolved”, i wish it this.

2. school, oh how i’ve missed you yet i can’t wait to finish you and move on. :) this year, i hope to become a regular, full time, STUDIOUS student. get my stuff done and get it done in a timely manner. i’m not getting any younger. :\

3. moolah. i don’t have much, but i really want to start saving more and better. i’m not a kid anymore; big things are to come and nothing is free. so save, save, save!

4. Join something! ANYTHING! like a karate class or gymnastics for adults who are out of shape. haha. i really really just want to be a part of a group again… something active and fun. :D

5. start living a HEALTHY lifestly. lose weight (cause i’m honestly over weight for my height), eat right and exercise consistently.

6. accomplish at least one thing. for example, run a marathon! :)

7. learn to play an instrument. or re-learn an instrument i used to know how to play.

8. end (or head in that direction) bad habits. so many people i know are getting sick, from diseases and illnesses that probably stemmed from their lifestyle or lack of education, so it’s no joke, i’ve gotta take care of my body.

and lastly… :)

numero 9. be a nice(r) person to everyone, all the time.

breaking point.

Thu, 09 Dec 2010 23:29:29 -0800

everyone’s got their own limit, their own personal edge, that at any moment, they could quite possibly fall off of and keep falling. there’s so many things in this life that can push us to that edge, so how do we stop from falling? i ~~used to~~ still get caught up in all the craziness this world has to offer, but thank God, with the help of Him above and the amazing people he has surrounded me with, i feel like i’m slowly drifting from that edge. some days, it seems much closer, but honestly… every day He humbles me. for example, the story on oprah (from my blog below), totally made me reexamine myself and my attitude towards life and just everything in general. i believe those young ladies did not die in vain; everyone’s life WAS planned individually by God Himself! there is a reason for their lives, the surviving father’s life and for my life and yours. i’m slowly learning that at the end of the day, we can not lose faith and hope in Him who gives and takes away. i remember something (along these lines) that my good friend, Hlee, told me awhile back… “life is like a small grain of sand on the big ocean shore.” sometimes, i KNOW i’m making things out to be so much bigger than they really are. *humble me, everyday, Lord.

"Tragedy in Connecticut" on oprah

Thu, 09 Dec 2010 23:14:00 -0800

at the gym, i usually use the elliptical that is closest to the far right TV, because they always have it turned onto ABC (i think?) with subtitles! i happened to come at around 4 PMish when oprah was on and the story today was about a horrific tragedy in connecticut. you might already know the story, but real quick, two felons out on parole, followed a mother and daughter home then plotted a burglary/murder on the family. that night, they broke in the house and beat the dad with a baseball bat and then sexually assaulted and tied the girls up in separate rooms. in between all of this, they also drove the wife to the bank and had her withdraw money. when they returned, they set fire to the whole house. the mother and two daughters passed away, while the father was able to escape to a neighbors house. i’m not naive; i know that evil exists and i know that people do evil things all the time, but this has got to be one of the most chilling tragedies i’ve ever come across. oprah was interviewing the father, Dr. William Petit, and i never even heard his voice, all i read were subtitiles, yet just reading it and seeing the pictures was enough. it was just so sad.

during the interview, oprah asked him a few questions regarding religion. she asked how his relationship with God was at the moment and whether he could forgive the two criminals. his answer towards forgiveness was, “i think forgiving the essence of evil is not appropriate.” i really admire Dr. Petit for his honesty and just flat out heartfelt answers. i can tell that he is a man of faith, but of course he is still human- he still feels pain and still lives every day with loss.

forgiving the essence of evil- do you think you can do it? do you think God wants us to do that? how do you forgive true evil, such as what was done to him and his family? it’s one thing to lose someone you love to say an accident or an illness, but it is a totally different story when you lose someone because of another human being’s doing. it’s just not fair and it’s so sick to know how evil people can be. how do we prevent these things? how do you tell a serial killer not to kill? where does it stem from? childhood? school? family? their own personal demons? for me, i’m not afraid of death.. because Jesus is on the other side… but i am more afraid of being tortured. it’s just extra sad when innocent people get tortured before they go on… *SIGH, i don’t even know if this blog makes sense, but i just felt like writing about it.

*PRAYERS AND LOVE TO THE PETIT FAMILY<3

my cousin vao's original, "I'LL PRAY"

Mon, 29 Nov 2010 22:51:00 -0800

my cousin vao's original, "I'LL PRAY":

*click on the title to hear the song :)

so i have some cousins, who live in omaha, where ironically, true is also going to school. he has gone to their church a few times and recently he told me that my cousin sang one of his own songs… which was really really good. anyhow, today he posted it and i just wanted to share! such a beautiful song. praise God!

this song is so powerful. it just makes my hands shoot straight...

Sun, 14 Nov 2010 10:46:43 -0800

this song is so powerful. it just makes my hands shoot straight to the air in praise and adoration! the power in His name- JESUS!

(i’m feeling all of natalie grant’s new cd “love revolution”)

Day 2- Your Crush

Mon, 08 Nov 2010 00:44:58 -0800

dear crush,

it is CRRAZZYY how much i used to be infatuated with you. i honestly felt like there was no one else for me. so pathetic, yet so true. but as time progressed, i also grew up- in my way of thinking, the way i feel, just who i was altogether. sooo… now you’re not my crush anymore and i guess this letter shouldn’t have even been written to you to begin with then huh? HAHA. =)

Day 1- Your Best Friend

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 23:38:35 -0700

dear best friend(s),

you know, the greatest test of someone’s friendship is simply proving that you care by being there, even if there are no glitz and glam involved. it could be in the wee hours of the morning or at the cost of sacrificing something else, but sometimes, the best kind of friend is just one who shows up. so thank you times a gazillion. i love you forever and ever.

Tumblr 30 Day Challenge via Hlee and Manou :)

Tue, 02 Nov 2010 17:57:00 -0700

Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

love, love, love.

Mon, 11 Oct 2010 22:50:28 -0700

what a sensational feeling love brings. in fact, what a sensation love is in itself! from the adoration of a parent to the unbreakable bond of a best friend to the romantic heartbeats of a lover- love is and always will be life’s ultimate desire. quite honestly, i don’t believe anyone can deny that they don’t yearn, need or want love. it’s like a code embedded deep within us. LOVE. the best thing EVER. =)

hidden treasures.

Tue, 27 Jul 2010 19:17:23 -0700

in the past ten years, i have moved about 7 times. not always to a different town, but to a different home. in a week here, i’ll be moving yet again… and this time, it will be to a different town. it’s actually going to be back home. =)

moving has never really been a drag or emotionally difficult; i actually enjoyed being in a new place. having a new room. new surrouding. it was always exciting for me. this time around, though, my feelings are a little bit more perplexed. there are many positive reasons for my decision to go home; yet there are also just as many reasons to stay. but nonetheless, i have always believed that everything happens for a purpose… and a destination is never reached without an exciting journey in between!

as for the physical aspect of moving, i have this sort of bitter sweet feeling with packing. bitter, cause it requires me to actually have to go through everything- pack what i’m gonna keep and trash what i’m not. but sweet, cause i actually have to go through everything. =) and going through everything ALWAYS means stumbling upon at least one or more hidden treasures. whether it be a long lost favorite t-shirt or a cherished movie ticket tucked under piles and piles of junk, i am always eager to see what i’m going to discover.

last night, as i was sifting through my night stand, throwing away a months worth of mail, i came across some old letters written to me by my boyfriend from a couple years back. there was probably a good 10-15 letters written during our more earlier days… you know the days when even just the smallest brush of his or her hand upon yours sent your butterflies fluttering. the first one i opened was a card, not sent for any particular holiday, but sent just because. it was the sweetest thing… and his words melted my heart a second time around. (assuming it melted my heart the first time i read it) =) it was honestly a small but undoubtedly happy little moment sitting there on my floor reading those letters. i was reminded of not only how great of a boyfriend i have, but just how awesome of a Father we both share.

bitter sweet. life always seems to be bitter sweet. and as long as it always happens in that order then you know what… i really don’t mind. =)

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Sat, 10 Jul 2010 15:58:00 -0700

it’s been almost 2 years that my roommates/friends and i moved to seattle. 2 YEARS! that’s so freaking crazy. i still remember that very night we randomly and at the time, jokingly, brought up the idea of moving out of california. and now… here we are. here i am. tumbling in lynnwood (it’s north of seattle), washington. but even though we’ve parted from our friends back at home through distance, we have not parted in relationship. and that’s what i adore about my friends- the fact that we can maintain and grow our friendship, despite the miles that lay between us. i’m truly blessed. =)

but i will admit that it has been difficult making new friends here in seattle. and this shall i call it hardship? has definitely made me that much more grateful for the friends i do have. i mean, yes! i have met girls… but i have not formed any type of friendship that begins to wander into the realm of spontaneous shopping trips or late night phone calls just to vent. all of the friendships i have gained here are really just surface level. and MOST of them are with guys. (my birthday dinner last year had like 8 guys, my 2 roommates and myself). ohhhh us women. we are so “clique-y” aren’t we? =)

ha! no… seriously though! i have learned that at my age, if you don’t already have friends built on a strong foundation, then it’s gonna be a tough ride trying to make some! people are so consumed with work, school, their lover…basically… just their own personal life, that they don’t really take the time to look up and look around. i know, at times, probably many many times, i have been guilty of that too. but i will say that these last couple of years, i have become a lot more aware of how people treat people. and definitely due to the fact that i am in a new area with new faces. and so, i am trying to be more conscious of the people around me. trying not to be so introverted and all about myself only. basically, i’m trying to be friendly cause one of the best things i’ve learned is that “you’ve got to be a friend if you want to make a friend” -Pastor Wendy Treat =)

to change or not to change.

Sun, 27 Jun 2010 16:14:00 -0700

i’ve had so many moments in my life, particularly, these last couple of years, where i so confidently felt like today i would make the necessary changes in my life… or at least start walking in that direction. but as always, these life changing epiphanies of mine seem to always conveniently occur while i’m doing something. like… i could be driving to work and having these awesome visions of a changed, more accomplished self… but then of course i get to work. help a few customers. grow impatient. weary. and yet again, i’m feeling unmotivated.

i wonder when.. like the exact moment when change occurs. is the mere simple thought big enough to spark action? yeah, i guess nothing really happens unless it was thought out first. that only makes sense. so that mustn’t really be what i’m asking then. i’m more interested in the first step towards the bigger goal. cause we all know, anyone can talk a whole mumbo jumbo of oohs and aahs, but the person who actually takes those words and makes a life out of them; that’s the person i want to model. cause this whole simplified, “oh, just get an education and a good job and you’ll be happy” is totally not working for me. i mean, what am i supposed to do with that? where do i even begin? ugh.

perhaps i can be helped with just a few words, “get off your lazy butt and do something- ANYTHING!”

let's begin.

Sun, 27 Jun 2010 13:49:00 -0700

first off, butterlettuce.

what? and why?

if you don’t know, it’s from the lettuce family. =) i used it once when i made lettuce wraps for a sleepover. (fyi: they turned out pretty yummy too) and from that experience, i realized that butter lettuce is also known as boston lettuce. harder to find (especially in asian grocery stores) and a little bit more pricier than regular lettuce. also, a tad smaller in size but undoubtedly miles prettier. AND! if you haven’t noticed, those two words together make quite the pair. butterlettuce, butterlettuce, butterlettuce. ah. it rolls off the tongue so sweetly. =)

so why? why butterlettuce you may ask. well, on that particular occasion, i had set my alarm for “butterlettuce” to remind me to buy it once i woke up. and so.. ever since then, one of my alarms has remained butterlettuce. and every time i look at it, it reminds me of my boo… i really have no idea why but i’m guessing that it’s because they’re both cute? =)

yesterday, i told him that i’m the butter and he’s the lettuce. because i’m unhealthy and a bit pudgier than him =) while he’s all about veggies and a bit more “in shape” than i. =)

so voila. there it is. my first blog on here… all about butterlettuce. =)